In recent weeks, several clients, colleagues, friends, and family members have experienced the death of a loved one. The circumstances were different for each loved one. However, there are many commonalities we all share when dealing with the death of a loved one.
Regardless of how you feel and the circumstances, grief is normal. Anger, frustration, sadness, worry, uncertainty, etc. It’s all normal and part of the bereavement process. Don’t hold your emotions in. Let them show and let them out. Even if you are doing so alone in the bathroom. Inside you are a whirlwind of different emotions and letting them run their course helps you work it out. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed by it. It’s natural to have selfish thoughts, depression, anger, a sense of doom and worry.
Getting over the death is not possible, but learning to live with the loss is.
Talk to others. Either on online boards, help lines or to others that knew the person. It helps your mind gain structure and makes sense of what happened. Talking helps us understand and cope with death. It’s not a matter of ‘getting over it.’ It’s a matter of coming to grips with everything. ‘Getting over it,’ isn’t a real goal. Getting over the death is not possible, but learning to live with the loss is.
It may be hard at the time but the rituals surrounding a death can bring comfort. If not now, it will in the long run. Attend the memorial service, funeral and any other get together that follows. Even if the presence of such events is low, just being around others that knew your loved one adds comfort.
It may not be the right time, but don’t be in a hurry to move on by throwing away everything that connects you to the deceased. In time, these things may bring you comfort. Memories are just as valuable. Going back to your memories can help bring comfort. Throwing everything away too soon can make it harder. Take your time. You will know when you are ready.
If you need help, get it. There are a ton of organizations that provide support groups, either online or local. The loss of loved ones happens to everyone. You are not alone. Below are some ways to cope with the death of your loved one.
3 Coping Tips
- Turn Your Pain Into Purpose.
- Connect with others whom know your loved one and/or have experienced a loss.
- Seek professional help. As a psychotherapist, I offer bereavement and grief therapy.
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