Sexiness is about owning and loving the real, true you.  It’s about embracing every single thing that makes you the person that you are.  Whether good or bad, sexiness is acceptance despite your flaws; this is something that you learn to do through life’s obstacles and trials.  There’s no real formula to being sexy because it’s less about how you look, and more about the confidence you project.  However, there are certain pieces of clothing, makeup, and accessories that give you that extra boost of sexiness and confidence; Because that’s what fashion is all about!  So, let’s get started with the list of items that will help you flaunt your confidence and sexiness.

Signature Lipstick

Red lipstick

Your signature lipstick should be a color that makes you feel extra confident and sexy!  The great thing about finding the perfect lipstick is that it transforms you. Try it. Put on a full face of makeup without adding lipstick and see what it looks like. Cute; but not a standout look. Even without a full face of makeup, if you’re wearing the right lipstick, it will amp up your sexiness.  So play in your lipsticks for awhile, and figure out which one transforms you.  My signature lipstick color is usually the classic deep red matte colors such as Ruby Woo by MAC, Always Red by Sephora Lipstain Collection, and Cruella by NARS.

Sexy LBD (Little Black Dress) or LBJ (Little Black Jumpsuit)


Black is a universally flattering color which is why I suggest an LBD or an LBJ. However, you may feel sexier in red, or orange, or yellow, etc. So whatever color and style of dress you feel sexiest in, go for that.  Now this dress or jumpsuit must make you feel like you are the hottest woman on earth.  It must make you feel like Beyonce’ dancing around on the stage doing the “uh oh” dance. It must give you life.  Every woman needs a dress/jumpsuit that fits perfectly.

Favorite Jeans (High Waisted Jeans)

high-waisted jeans

Now, I’ve already spoken about the importance of finding the right pair of jeans before. So I won’t spend too much time on the topic. But the perfect pair of jeans should not be too tight or too uncomfortable. They should not cut off your circulation or make you hate all your body parts that you can’t shove into them. The best jeans are the ones that are comfortable, soft and fit like a glove. Most of my favorite pairs of jeans are high waisted skinny jeans. These are the jeans that I feel look best on me. These jeans give the illusion of a slimmer waist, and they make my legs look longer. There is a pair of jeans for every shape and size. You just have to find them.  And when you find them, rock them as often as you can. Check out this website here for tips on finding the perfect pair of jeans for your shape.

Signature Perfume


There is nothing like looking and smelling good. Your signature perfume is a reflection of you.  I love the feeling of being fresh, clean, and neat.  This makes me feel my sexiest. So my signature fragrance that embodies those feeling is Light Blue by Dolce and Gabbana.  The name literally describes the scent.  It’s light and airy.  And it smells like you’ve just stepped out of the shower. My other two faves are Nude by Rihanna and Dolce by Dolce and Gabbana.  Whatever you want to convey about yourself, find the perfect scent that does just that.  Make that the last thing you put on before you leave the house!

Fun Heels

Fun Pumps

A pair of high heels is a necessity when bringing your sexy back.  The right pair will make you feel like you own the world.  Now, I am always an advocate for comfort so I must say that high heels are great and all but make sure they are heels that are comfortable AND sexy.  The whole idea of being sexy is about comfort.  And you don’t want to be moving around looking like you’ve just learned to walk in your heels.  So find a pair that is easy for you to walk in but also give you the fierceness that you need to convey your confidence!

Signature Sunglasses

Signature Sunglasses

Finding the right pair of sunglasses can be life changing. They can make you instantly look more sophisticated and put together.  And what’s even better, when you’re not dressed up or made up, you can throw on your sunglasses and add your signature lippie. Immediately, you look more stylish and confident. Just find the perfect pair for your face.  Check out this website here to help you figure out the right sunglasses for your face shape.

The Perfect Shapewear


I’ve recently learned to appreciate the magic of shape wear.  It basically smoothes you out and makes you look like some one has taken an iron to you.  The trick to shape wear is finding the right piece for your shape and the outfit that you’re wearing.  But trust me, once you do that, you will love how much better you look in that body-con dress once you throw on the right girdle on under it.  Check out this website on how to pick the right shapewear for your body.

The most important thing you need to display your confidence and sexiness is the love of yourself for who you are. You also need to be comfortable in your own skin. The display of comfortability is the sexiest thing in the world. Be yourself and your sexiness will shine through, but a little help never hurts!

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Shanna A. Jefferson, MSW, LCSW, LISW-CPS is a Life Coach, Psychotherapist, and Author.

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