Reconnecting with the Woman in the Mirror



Reconnecting with the Woman in the Mirror

I have always found myself running behind and taking care of others. That is the type of person that I am. I strive off acknowledgment and the idea that I make a difference in someone’s life. I want to be the person that people could depend on. It wasn’t until my depression got the best of me that I realized I was neglecting a very important person, myself.

I kept my issues and needs in a bag in the back of my mind until I could get to them. Things kept getting added to the bag, never subtracted. I drowned myself in other’s problems to forget my own demons. One day the bag got so full that it burst, and I went on the deepest spiral I have ever been on in my life. It was in that moment that I realize I can’t help other people while I’m suffering. I had to reconnect with myself. I had to relearn who I am and start loving me again.

It was hard at first. No one wants to look in a mirror and realize that they may hate themselves.

“I’m talking to the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways”

-Michael Jackson

Confronting your demons is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I had to stare down the rabbit hole of places I never wanted to venture back into. But these memories and experiences help to shape who I am. I had to confront and overcome them to understand me.

 “In order to love who you are you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.”

-Andrea Dykstra

There are three things that I did to start my journey of self-love. These may or may not work for everyone but they are a great start.

1. Write love notes to yourself and place them in places that you’ll be able to see them. 

 In college, I use to write little love song quotes on sticky pads and put them on my mirror. That why whenever I saw myself I could read them aloud to myself. I started back doing that. I have it on the bathroom morning, my car sun visor and on the long mirror in my pet’s room.

2. Keep a journal and use it

I started to write daily about everything. I realized that the more I was able to write stuff down the less I had to store in my head. I was able to get my feelings, fears, and anger out once my pen touched paper. All the emotions never receded quickly, but it didn’t make dealing with them easier.

3. Stop lying to yourself

This was and still is my biggest problem. I had to stop telling myself that I am fine. I had to stop believing that if I repeat it over and over again that it’ll be true. If I can’t be truthful with myself how could I be truthful to others?

The most important thing to remember is that self-love is necessary. We have to be whole before we can help others. Talk to the woman (or man) in the mirror and make sure that they are happy first and foremost. You are priority number one.

De’Shawn M.

Blogger, Music Enthusiast

Instagram and Twitter @harleighquynn


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