As the New Year has come and gone, I have often heard the women in my circle talk about how quickly life is happening to them and how it can be difficult to set and accomplish goals. When I think about these women, they represent so many different things-all just trying to take the reins back in life. We often get sucked into a spiral of work, trying to make and maintain friendships, caring for children or spouses all while trying to keep some level of personal satisfaction and sanity. Shit gets tough right.
In this blog post, I give you six quick and realistic ways to stop letting life happen to you and start happening to live. It’s time to start moving some stuff out of the way.
#1. Stop tolerating.
We all put up with stuff, from being overloaded at work with no direction to a family member that seems to call around the end of the month looking for help or maybe even all the junk and clutter that’s slowly taking over your home. Nothing is painful enough to put a stop halt to, and nothing is severe enough to cut people off, but it definitely can be a burden. Tolerating things and sometimes people depletes our energy and slowly sucks the life force away from you. By eliminating things or people, your brain can use all that extra memory and space toward focusing on life goals and vision.
What are you tolerating?
#2. Get complete.
Stop putting things off and half finishing projects. By doing this, you create a collection of unfinished projects and task, which collectively are too overwhelming to deal with, so you just don’t. Think about all of the things you said you would do last month. How many of them did you do? How many of them did you put to the side? Get complete. Start finishing things. Make to-do lists and check off the boxes.
What’s left unfinished on your to-do list?
#3. Simplify everything.
Yes, I mean everything. Are you doing too much on the weekend? Do you say “yes” too much when your mouth wants to say “no”? Check for expectations, are you setting yourself to fail at task and projects with unrealistic goals. By keeping things simple, your life energy will have so much space for stuff that feeds your soul. All the extra time, energy and conversations you apply toward things that don’t serve your higher purpose and passion, drop it.
Are you doing too much?
#4. Check your foundation.
When your basic needs are met, and your personal life is stable, confidence replaces fear. You know what you know and are open to learning more about the possibilities of the world. Check yourself. Stability in your personal life could mean, you have a budget and stick to it. You set boundaries in a relationship, and you stand firm on them. You take healthy risks and try new things; you don’t live in the land of comfort and familiarity with expectations of things changing. Would you build a new house on a cracked and slanted foundation? I hope not so. Why treat your life any different. Get your personal life together and then look to others.
Have you given yourself a reality check lately?
Stop letting life happen to you and start happening to live.
#5. Reserve your “F-U.”
First, do you even know what you value? If I stopped you from reading this article, and asked, “what do you value in life?” Stop, think and meditate on what is important to you and develop a list of values. Things that you will stand up for, lines people will not cross, ideals you support. You can’t fight for every cause and pour energy into every comment you read. Learn to reserve your F-U. When you figure it out, surround yourself with these things, fill your head and heart with people, places and things that ooze it. When your life is centered around your values, your next step isn’t so scary.
Do you know what you are fighting for in life?
#6. Try new things, do better.
You probably know more than what you did three years ago, and hopefully, you’ve continued to push yourself on a consistent basis. Being in a box is the worse. Same stuff, every day. Same people, every weekend. No new thoughts, no new foods, no new experiences or feelings. What kind of life is this? You could start going to the library. Feed your mind with knowledge-it expands your worldview. Build on what you know to do better and be better. Please stop saying ignorance is bliss, because it’s not, it’s just ignorance.
What are you missing out on by staying in your box?
Take steps 1-6, do them every day, yes every day for the next 30 days. Push yourself, if you slip back into the land of comfort and familiarity, start over. It’s a process and a cycle. By following these six steps, you will slowly start to see that life is no longer happening to you, you have started to happen to live.
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Kendria Johnson, Wife & Mom
Lover of getting things done